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Time to move on?

8/5/2013

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When letting go may be the best option
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Coaching is all about setting objectives, planning and executing relentlessly to make our dreams
come true. However there are times when, no matter what we do, it just seems that thing just don’t
work out. At some point one has to ask a very hard question: “Has the time come to move on?”

Clearly this is not an easy question to ask oneself and it takes a lot of courage and inner strength to
look inside and come up with an honest answer. This is especially true the more one has invested,
financially, emotionally or in sheer time, in trying to get their dream to take off.

Thanks to the popularisation of positive psychology and coaching increasing number of people
are learning that it is possible, indeed that it is advisable, to believe in ourselves and take on new
challenges in pursuit of our dreams. Popular self-help books like ‘The Secret’ lead many to believe
that any dream can be realized as long as you really want it and focus on it.

This paradigm shift in our culture is great and represents a huge improvement from a time when
most people did not dear to dream and even flirt with the idea of being the masters of their destiny.
Forever condemned to live lives somewhat empty of passion and personal development, fenced off
from ever facing the fear of failure (the most powerful psychological force humans may encounter)
within their comfort zone.

However with more and more people daring to challenge their own status quo it is possible that
some may not make it and thus be confronted with facing the dreaded feeling of failure/rejection.

This post is about recognizing early on this possibility so that those who are about to embark on
their change journey, and those who are facing this tough question, may be equipped to deal with a
fact of life: sometimes things don’t quite turn out the way you want.

How? Here are 3 critical pillars to support you:

1. Ensure that the dream is fully aligned with our values and turned into a smart objective.

2. Focus at all times on what is within our reach rather than depending on or blaming outside
factors recognizing and overcoming the greatest of barriers: our limiting beliefs.

3. Define some clear ‘mission abort criteria’ and if and when the time to give up comes focus
on the learning rather than on failure.

Without respecting these three conditions one is likely to put a lot of effort into something that at
some point will fold and may leave us scarred. As the previous post suggest one should not be afraid
of failure but one should be prepared to accept it and deal with it should it, despite all our efforts,
come to be.

The next three posts will focus on these three points.

Feel free to contact me via the contact form on this site if you are coming face to face with this most
difficult question and need some personalised assistance in dealing with this tough question.

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    Author

    Daniele dell'Erba is an international coach, change management consultant and trainer, who has been helping people and organizations deal with change since 1998.

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    March 2014
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    December 2013
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