Coaching is all about setting objectives, planning and executing relentlessly to make our dreams
come true. However there are times when, no matter what we do, it just seems that thing just don’t
work out. At some point one has to ask a very hard question: “Has the time come to move on?”

Clearly this is not an easy question to ask oneself and it takes a lot of courage and inner strength to
look inside and come up with an honest answer. This is especially true the more one has invested,
financially, emotionally or in sheer time, in trying to get their dream to take off.

Thanks to the popularisation of positive psychology and coaching increasing number of people
are learning that it is possible, indeed that it is advisable, to believe in ourselves and take on new
challenges in pursuit of our dreams. Popular self-help books like ‘The Secret’ lead many to believe
that any dream can be realized as long as you really want it and focus on it.

This paradigm shift in our culture is great and represents a huge improvement from a time when
most people did not dear to dream and even flirt with the idea of being the masters of their destiny.
Forever condemned to live lives somewhat empty of passion and personal development, fenced off
from ever facing the fear of failure (the most powerful psychological force humans may encounter)
within their comfort zone.

However with more and more people daring to challenge their own status quo it is possible that
some may not make it and thus be confronted with facing the dreaded feeling of failure/rejection.

This post is about recognizing early on this possibility so that those who are about to embark on
their change journey, and those who are facing this tough question, may be equipped to deal with a
fact of life: sometimes things don’t quite turn out the way you want.

How? Here are 3 critical pillars to support you:

1. Ensure that the dream is fully aligned with our values and turned into a smart objective.

2. Focus at all times on what is within our reach rather than depending on or blaming outside
factors recognizing and overcoming the greatest of barriers: our limiting beliefs.

3. Define some clear ‘mission abort criteria’ and if and when the time to give up comes focus
on the learning rather than on failure.

Without respecting these three conditions one is likely to put a lot of effort into something that at
some point will fold and may leave us scarred. As the previous post suggest one should not be afraid
of failure but one should be prepared to accept it and deal with it should it, despite all our efforts,
come to be.

The next three posts will focus on these three points.

Feel free to contact me via the contact form on this site if you are coming face to face with this most
difficult question and need some personalised assistance in dealing with this tough question.

People who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.

Experiencing failure is inevitable on your journey to be successful. Each defeat is merely an installment to victory.

You'll find that the number of times you succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times you fail and keep trying. You won't be judged by the number of times you fail, but by the number of times you succeed.

Failure is nothing but education, nothing but the first step to something better.

You can't be a winner and be afraid to lose.

What have you be holding back about? Your regret-free life starts here....

Recipe for a regret-free life:

1. Focus on what really matters
2. Find its meaning and relate it to your purpose
3. Create your plan
4. Take action
5. Assess results and extract the learning
6. Back to step 1.

Welcome to the blog of CHANGE and its management. 

This blog is dedicated to share ideas and tools to define and manage your  change. As such, these posts aim to be practical and hands-on. I will, however  share, from time to time, some resources, such as links, videos, case-studies,  articles, etc. that I think can be inspiring or  helpful.

Although I shall focus primarily on  personal change, a lot what I shall share can also be adapted to be used in an organisational setting and at work. I do this on a daily basis with my executive  coaching and change management consulting clients.

So, without any further ado, let's get started...

Why is change so important? 

First of all because whether you like it or not, change is out  there and is coming towards you at break-neck speed. You can run, but you can't  hide. Secondly because the only way to get better results, whatever that means and in whichever area of your life, depends on start doing or thinking about  what you do (or don't) differently. In a word: change.

Where to start?

Let's start with the challenge of defining what to change. Without knowing where you want to go there is no point in learning tools or getting started. Once you really know WHAT you want, and only then, can you focus on the HOW.

Most people, when asked what they would like to change in their life, have no idea. Some, when pressed, end up saying they would like to win the lottery (HOW). This is a bit like saying: "I have no clue what I want but give me the money and surely I'll figure out how to be happy". I am afraid you need to know that this strategy is unlikely to work out for you. I am not saying that money doesn't help or that these is something wrong with it, but ultimately it is a tool not an end in itself. A lot of people who have lots of money end up living quite miserable lives, as the biographies of many millionaires have shown. The point is simply that money will not bring purpose, but it can indeed help to achieve it. In future posts I shall show you that the key to happiness is understanding what really matters to us and why and linking those insights to shaping our identity and purpose in life. But more on that later. Let's start with a simple step.

So, as a first practical suggestion, why don't you take a few  minutes to figure out at least in which area of your life you feel that change is more urgent?
Is it at work? Or it may have to do with your relationships and  how you deal with people? Your health perhaps? Or maybe your finances? Could it  be how you use your free time to develop and have fun? If you  are not sure in which part of your life change is more needed, think about each  of the above areas and assess from 0 (min) to 10 (max) how satisfied you are. 

Then step back and take a look at the results. Is one standing out as having a big gap? If so that is where you are likely to find a significance. Does it also feel particular urgent? If so, congratulations, you have now narrowed down the
options and can focus on that area.

In my next post I will explain how to do just that. So watch this space.

Should you feel the need for support or more information regarding the suggestion above, drop me a line.
I am always happy to assist you as you try to define what needs to change.

Remember that as a coach I am content-light and it is always up to you to decide what really matters. I just provide the context, the structure, the questions and help you focus to get going and stay on track in your change journey.